Monday, June 30, 2014

Get back up again

I've been trying to write this post for the last week but every time I start I think, "How can I possibly write this without sounding like a whiny baby?" But I give up, it's impossible. Sometimes it's OK to admit weakness.

After jumping into the Leadville Marathon a week and a half ago and spilling all of my cookies across the course, at the hotel, and in the gutter in front of Sean and Laura's Honda Element, it's taken longer than normal to bounce back. Since the race I've had only one run that felt good and I took a good digger at the end of it. I bashed up my knee pretty bad and it still makes me wince sometimes.

oozy and bruisey

If I'm honest with myself, I think I just don't want to bounce back. I want to take a break and rest. I just want to pace Cory at his races, go for some adventure runs, hike some peaks, anything besides run a 50 mile race this weekend. The other night we listened to a panel of elite runners talking about the Leadville 100 and they said you have to decide before the race that you are going to finish it no matter what. All I can think of is how many excuses I have to not finish the 50 in Moab on Saturday.

I really am excited for the adventure but I'm afraid and I feel like there are so many factors that are out of my control. In addition to how beat up my body is right now, I'm also supposed to get a visit from my "monthly friend" on race day... some might call her Flo the demon from hell. Enough said on that. I also have no control over the weather, which is supposed to be 100 degrees and partly sunny with no chance of any blessed rain. I just want a little break here! Running 50 miles is hard enough on it's own.

To sum this all up I am terrified for the holiday weekend. I crafted all my training this year around running my first 50 miler. The time has come and I don't feel ready mentally or physically. My training has been solid, but there's too many things that I have no control over and MAN do I like to be in control.

No matter what I am going to start the race. I'm going to run until I can't run anymore. And when I'm done I'll be really happy that at least I tried.

Adventures at Staunton State Park

Cory model

Poor slow marmots

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